Scott is on his way headed for the States :( I will stay behind, and wrap up the last of the proceedings.  My hope is that I get to return with Sasha sometime the week of March 13th, but its too early to tell. Sasha and I started the first visit today bundling up and going for a walk on the Orphanage grounds.  It was nice to get out, and we were alone.  We came across objects that were easy to describe in English such as snow, tree, birds, and ice. Afterwards, we went back to the common room, warmed up, and played a game start-to-finish.  Sasha sometimes loses interest half way through the activity, and picks a new one. We finished, put it away, and by that time the visiting hours ended.  Tonight's visit was incredible!  Sasha and I were watching videos together on my laptop. She started pointing to each object on the screen. This is her way of saying, "Whats this?".  Enthusiastically, I proceeded to teach her the English name of the object she  pointed to.  She mimicked each thing I said to the best of her ability. I decided to put a ABC learning DVD in the player. We went through the whole thing together laughing, making sound effects, naming each animal that appeared on the screen, and speaking each letter in the alphabet. I verbally reinforced her with each chance I got. By coincidence, in one of the videos we were viewing there happened to be a scene of a plane taking off, and I spoke pointing to the plane, "There goes papa." She pointed too and replied loudly, "PAPA". She is starting to stare in my eyes, and smile. Her little heart is opening up, and as long as she has her hand in mine, she begins to trust what lies ahead.

It's A Girl

We are now the proud parents of Alexandra Wood. Last night we both spent some time going over our documents and details so we would be ready for court. We were both very nervous going through a court hearing is stressful to begin with, going through a court hearing in a different country added to our stress. The judge was professional and asked important questions of both Sam and I about our daughter's future and well being. At the end of the proceeding we were granted adoption of Alexandra.

Today was probably as close as we will get to the feeling parents describe at the delivery room. Knowing that we will be able to provide a life, a future and a family for Alex is truly an amazing gift. The next chapter in our lives is about to begin, and I dare say that despite the challenges we have had the easy part is almost done. The best is yet to come.

Today we got to join Saschoi and the other kids in a singing program. Near the end of the program, I heard Sashoi point to us and whisper to another kid, "Thats Mama and Papa".  Saschoi is starting to test the boundaries of the relationship.  She had a hard time warming up to Papa today.  The visits consisted of her snubbing him.  We found out near the second visit that keeping verbal communication is important in building the relationship, and it doesn't matter what language you speak.  We ended the final visit with going over a kids Russian bilingual  dictionary with pictures. She pointed at each one wanting to know the English name, as she told us what it was in her language. 

~Sammy

Saschoi is slowly revealing who she really is. Today, we put puzzles together, had tea parties with stuffed animals and her Kukla(doll). We played chase, and watched her go down the indoor play-castle slide. I would tickle her when she met me at the bottom. Anything you could do, to receive a coo :) The caregivers along with our translator, are preparing her for the change a little bit more each day. She freezes up every time something  is spoken of her new journey. I promptly redirect this effect now, and try to be quick witted about doing fun activities together. It helps the mood get more cheerful. The communication barrier started to crack as she responded to my simple spoken phrases in Russian this evening. It ended on a bittersweet note when she felt sad about us leaving.  Tomorrow will mark one week since we have met.

~Sammy

Today was the first day Saschoi(What she likes to be called)didn't cry on our arrival.  We got to help the other kids today bundle up for a winter's day. Most of the kids wear wool bomber hats, and Scott had a hard time determining what side was right. I put on the scarves wrong. We cramped the system.   While all of this was happening Saschoi decided to point and communicate to me that she wants to play puzzles. We spent the majority as a family playing games and putting things together. The highlight of the evening was when we were playing a game with her, and all the sudden she started giggling.  I could of started crying. I was so happy. We spent an half an hour being silly to just hear her giggle.  We also showed her the family book of pictures. I spoke to her in Russian who all our family members were, and how they were her's now. She understood what I said, and went over the book of pictures again. We got to hear a Mama, and Dada(She has claimed us) as she was describing back to us what she saw in the book.  We have a smart one on our hands. I am warning our family now. HA!

Bitter Sweet

Our visits to day went well we are slowly making progress. Each time is a little bitter sweet; we arrive she cries a little, we quickly try recover with some game or new activity. She will stubbornly avoid eye contact and any interest in our presence. More often now by the end of the visit Sam and I will have found something engage her. This morning one of the caregivers tried to help us with bubbles and puzzles. This worked for a short time but after the caregiver left she tried pretty hard to avoid having any interest. We pulled out the phone for some alphabet and puzzle games. The games help overcome the language barrier, they provide visual cues when our verbal ones are lacking.

This evenings visit we started by watching a video then went on to play games. She grew tired of the games and started to ignore us again. In one of our previous visits we found she enjoyed listening to music on the iPod. Sam put it out and asked her if she wanted to listen, so far she has said very little maybe 2-3 words since we have arrived. We could tell she wanted to but was not going to give in and say "Да". Right then some of the other kids came in, one of the little boys in the group started to get Sam's attention. She actually seemed a little jealous and put her arm out with a loud "Нет". After the other children left she mellowed out and sat down with Sam to listen to some tunes. I started showing her some pictures on Sam's phone, we came across a picture of her new room which definitely sparked some interest. I took a picture and let her see the one I had just taken, she let me take another and I was very surprised to see that she had given me a smile. Each day is a little better than the next we are slowly wearing down her prickly resolve with love and kindness.

What is the feeling  that comes to your mind when your child smiles at you for the first time?  or combs through your hair with their little hands, or acknowledges you as mama?  tonight all of this happened to me, and their aren't words that really can express this awesome feeling of accomplishment. As we spoke in our earlier post, the Nintendo DSI was a hit.  We brought that along for tonights visit as well.  I also introduced her to my IPOD. Which had all kinds of uplifting music for kids, and the grown-up alike.  I put the headphones on her, and turned it on. I let her listen while she played DSI with papa.  She then felt comfortable enough to start playing with all the buttons on both gadgets. YES! her kid is coming out! what 3 year old doesn't like buttons? I gave her my wedding ring, she tried it on, and then was shaking it back and forth, moving the floating diamond. Papa and her were teasing each other with the ring. I then took the ring and teased her with it, and got a smile.    She had fun playing with the ipod and changing all the songs, and turning up the volume. She looked up when she put a Wonder pet song on, and I gave her a goofy look-another smile. I had to keep on turning the Volume down.  Papa had noticed she put the ipod on hold song. He tried to get it back but she wouldn't let him have it, and screamed, MAMA!!! Oh my, another stubborn one to add to the mix :D Our visit came to an end, and it was time to give hugs. I picked her up swung her in circles, and tickled her stomach. She gave us hugs, then I walked her to the common area, she independently waved bye with the a wide grin, and said Paka.

Очень хорошо

Today we had a breakthrough when she entered the room she was in tears, the caregiver quickly pulled out some games and let us know we should start talking more and in English. Sam had brought her Nintendo DSI with us this time so we decided to give it a try. This turned out to be the best thing we have done so far. Sam began teaching her how to play the games, she stopped crying and started interacting not only with the game but both of us as well. I held the console while she navigated the games with the stylus/pen. She particularly loved the games that traced the letters of the alphabet, compose music and dress up animals. During the session Sam and I both gave her praise in both English and Russian. Time quickly passed and it was time to go she took my hand to get up and gave Sam an open armed hug. This was the first time she reached out to us and a moment we will both remember.

Cheberuska

Last night I got some advice from a friend that has been through the Ukrainian adoption process. She I believe, was meant to be in our life. We emailed back and forth, and was blessed with some really good advice. As new parents it is sometimes frustrating when every attempt you try to build a relationship with your child, fails. Adoption is hard, none of it is easy, and none will probably be. I do believe however, that it will be worth it. Every adopted child acts differently in the "First"meetings, and ours have been intense but purely a blessing in disguise. Our little girl is extremely smart, shy, and very cute. It breaks our heart to see in her eyes that she is having a difficult time with the change that surrounds her. We get to see all the emotions unfold as she is engaged into the grieving process, and cultural differences. Their is a silver lining though, and with this thought I will talk about tonights visit. We decided to let her move at her own pace, and not try so hard to have her interact with every little game we play together. I decided to bring my laptop, and DVD of Cheberuska(Russian show for kids). At the beginning of the visit a caregiver told her about how she was going to go on a plane to America, and how she is going to have a great time. Insert meltdown here________. In a way I am happy they are preparing her for this new life, but ideally I wish she could move at her own pace. I immediately put on Cheberuska, put her in my lap, and she stopped sobbing. We then watched Cheberuska together as a family. Papa and I then played puzzles afterwards and let her be. She did watch us carefully. I then brought out the game we had all done earlier together(Which she did with us in the earlier visit!), and started to put the pieces back into the container to which it belonged. She was holding the container to help me, and I quickly praised her for doing so. Towards the end of the visit I was able to make eye contact with her, and I spoke in Russian," Tomorrow Sasha?" she wanted to speak, and mumbled words softly(This is a great sign). She then let me walk her back to the common room hand in hand, where all the children were playing. I then said Paka(short goodbye), and she smiled and said the same. I tell you what, it melts your heart when progress is seen. Even in small amounts.

~Sammy

не бойся

Last night's session was a little rough but it ended with some unexpected positive turns. We arrived with our translator to speak with the the staff. We both wanted to get a better idea of activities and things we were allowed to bring into the orphanage. We found out that she likes dolls and is not quite ready to color. We also found that she likes stamps and the caregiver showed us a picture that our daughter made.

We arrived feeling that we were better prepared with some new activities. We brought some Legos and remembered one of our phones. On our first visit she seemed like she enjoyed feeding the fish on my phone wallpaper. The caregiver also brought out some Juice and bread as a snack. I think it was a little too much after awhile she started to cry. I picked her up and held her and kept telling her in Russian that it will be Ok and not to be afraid. Sam went to get some more tissue, the caregiver noticing we were having a moment came out and immediately started to cheer everyone up. Another little boy came out with her and began playing with the Legos and stickers we found. The caregiver put some lipstick on her and we all finished the bag of animal cookies Sam brought.

Seeing her in tears was difficult for us both this is new territory for all of us. Although it was difficult it is normal and actually good behavior for the transition.

хорошо

We had our second visit today we brought a coloring book and some crayons. When she came out Sam had asked her in Russian if she was OK and she responded very quietly. We colored for about 20 minutes she held the crayon and she sat on Sam's lap while we colored. Sam and I switched later and she sat on my lap and held my hand with her tiny fingers. We introduced our selves as Mama and Papa and told her that we loved her.

Later in the session Sam went to get a tissue from one of the staff members to wipe Alex's nose. She had to enter the room where all of the other children were playing. After entering the room I heard several of the other children ask her if she was mama. It was difficult for both of us to hear, each one of those kids deserve someone to love them like a son or a daughter.  It was soon time for Alex's lunch time, and nap. When we went to say our goodbyes, Alex waved her hand at us and spoke the word Paka(Bye).

We Accept

Today we packed up and started our journey from Kiev. During our travels we were pulled over while leaving the gas station. After some heated discussion with the police we were allowed to continue on our way without issue. Finally we arrived at the orphanage around 10AM we reviewed the paper work and medical conditions. We were then allowed see our prospective daughter.

It took only a few minuets but we both knew this was right. She has grown a bit since our original picture. She is quiet and shy, but I think given the circumstances it's a normal reaction. We were only able to spend a short period of time with each other but it was enough. Sam and I both officially accepted her as our daughter. We can now begin the legal process to finalize the adoption.

From this point forward we will be able to visit her twice a day for short periods of time. This will continue until the legal proceedings are completed. Sam and I both plan on making the most of it as possible. We are not able to post pictures or her name until the legal proceedings have completed. Sam and I will try to keep everyone up to date on our progress over this and next week..

Tour of the city

I woke up early this morning and had breakfast in the apartment. Sam decided to clean and do some laundry before we travle to the city where the orphanage is located. I decided to go for a walk and see some of the sites. I also wanted to get a pre paid sim card for my phone being the geek that I am. This has been my first expierence as an outsider in a culture. It has been a humbling expierence relying on the kindness of strangers to communicate. Everyone has been very kind and tolerant of the stupid american trying to get through the kacca.

Free Day

Sam and I went exploring our neighborhood this afternoon. The first picture is where we are staying. The second is a daytime view from our apartment. The architecture is so beautiful and ornate.

Meeting with SDA

Today we got to meet with the SDA(State Dept. of Adoptions). Our visit involved a Psychologist, our translator Serg, and a few questions on why we chose to adopt. We got to see another cute picture of the Alexandra, and our hearts melted. Tomorrow, we will receive the permission to visit her orphanage, and the plan is to travel to her region on Thursday.  We have a free day today to take advantage of the city, and going to hop right on it since our apartment is located right in the middle of downtown.  We will catch up with you later :)

Мы здесь

After a long day of traveling Sam and I have finally made it to our final destination. We found the weather to be similar to utah about two weeks ago, in the teens and very chilly. We met our host who showed us some sites and where to exchange money. Sam and I went out to eat at a Ukrainian buffet, the food was very delicious and worth the 2 block walk. We are all settled in to our temporary apartment and getting ready for our first interview and then our first visit. Here is a picture of our current balcony looking over one of the main streets in Kiev.

It was like that when i got here

Sam had bought a sandwhich for lunch before our flight. It came in paperbag with a pickle. While getting settled Sam looks over with a cheesey grin and wipes the seat with her sleeve. Aparantly the pickle had decided to take a window seat. Sam quickly wisked it away before our row buddy arrived.

And The Journey Begins

Sam and I are on the plane now headed for Memphis. Getting packed and ready was a little slow going but we made it. Sam worked the day before so we were a little rushed getting all of our pre trip tasks in. Before we got started packing we had a good talk. Like grafting a new branch to a tree the process will take time, trust and patience for both us and our new daughter.

We have close to one week left until we depart the States:) Family members are asking us if we are ready for this...ready for the adoption? ready for take-off? I am certainly ready for the waiting period to be over, and to meet Alexandra.  Is anyone EVER really ready to be a parent? I am curious to see how  it changes the dynamics of things.  Don't get me wrong I am very excited about this, and scared at the same time.  I sometimes wonder what thoughts go through other adoptive parents minds one week before they are about to close their current chapter in life. I have been so grateful for the amazing support family and friends have given us through this endeavor.  One of my good friends, Rachel,  recently threw an adoption party for me and Scott. All of my closest girlfriends showed up. I was a little leary at first to let her proceed with this, as it isn't completely 100% secure that Alexandra is ours yet. Scott gave me reassurance that everything will be fine. I haven't had this many friends all together in a very long time. I was super excited about this party, and it was fabulous! Good food, good drinks, and lots of laughs(Thank-you Miguel). Rachel, and her boyfriend Miguel, put on awesome adoption party!!! We received gracious gifts for Alexandra.  There will be more shower parties to come even after we bring her home, as everyone is excited for our new family member. I cannot help but emphasize the amazing love I feel right now from family, and friends. Thank you. I will keep all of you updated while we are in Ukraine.

Lots of Love,.

Scott and Sam