Better Days Ahead

We were able to visit Larissa today I brought my tablet with the short video I made yesterday of us, our home and her sister. We also brought our interpreter to help better communicate with her. She sat down in the corner while I played the movie as it passed I let her know who was in each picture. After the video had finished with the interpreters help I told her that we both loved her very much. I told her that Mama, Papa and Sister wanted her to come home and be a part of our family. I asked her if she was scared she nodded yes. I let her know that there was nothing to be scared of and that her Mama and Papa loved her. I could see her eyes were welling up with tears along with mine at that point I knew she understood. After that it took a few mins to process and move on, since that point she was much more open to both Samantha and I. We played with the foam blocks I would build up a wall and peek through then she would smash it down. We stacked plastic discs and tried played with other toys in the room. Before we left I crouched down and without any apprehension she gave me a hug and said goodbye.

Ouch

The last two days Samatha and I had to travel to Kiev in order to complete some required paperwork needed for travel and passport arrangements. We are now back near the orphanage and took another opportunity to visit Larissa. Today was a little tough for everyone I think Samantha and I were a little drained from traveling the day before and Larissa was distracted by other couples also in the playroom. Sam gave her a small cracker and I offered her some tea from the set Samantha brought in. I brought my phone with her and started to show her some pictures of she recognized sam as Mama. We continued to play and I decided to pick her up and fly her around the room like the last time. After setting her down she told us she needed to use the the bathroom Samantha took her to the caretaker who later came back several moments later and said that Larissa wanted us to go home. We respected her wishes and left as requested Samantha and I had dealt with this before when visiting sasha, but it is still a tough pill to swallow. I keep trying to reminding myself this is much more difficult for her than it is for us. I think we missed some visual cues last time that might have helped us make her feel more comfortable.

We are not able to visit on Sundays and we both feel like we need to better communicate our story to prepare her for Samatha's return. When we adopted Sasha, Samantha made a memory book that told the story of our family and her future trip. It showed pictures of us, our house, our pets and our extended family. We would flip through it and tell her what the pictures were about. This time we forgot to bring one so I created a slideshow we can put on the phone or tablet when we go. I decided to include pictures of Sasha when we had visited her in the orphanage. On our next visit we will try showing her the pictures and watching her more closely for any cues we need to change things up a little.

Almost There

Yesterday Samatha and I accomplished a major hurdle, we attended court and were granted our petition to adopt. As with our first there will be a waiting period and then we can begin making arrangements for preparing a passport for travel. Court is always a little emotional for us as it is close to the final point of approval in this process. I think by the end of the session we were all trying to choke back tears. I present to you our new daughter Larissa Wood she is 3 years old and has charmed us from the moment we had an opportunity to meet her.

Remember me?

Today, we attended a program put on by the orphanage the kids were all dressed up in costumes and smiles. Pearl was dressed as a princess and enjoyed hoping and twirling about when her moment had come. I couldn't help but to sustain a grin from ear to ear almost the entire time we were there. We had an opportunity to meet her shortly after the presentation our visit was met with some apprehension. I almost forgot the time and patience it took to gain trust in our first adoption. Building a relationship will move at it's own pace everyone is different and each child has there own way of dealing with change. Having empathy is so important I can only imagine that going through this is more difficult that we can see as parents. Even little things we take for granted as adults can mean so much more to a child that has so little control. To any adoptive parent building a relationship for the first time don't get discouraged, stay positive and keep trying. If something isn't working just try something else it's amazing how quickly things begin to improve when you have found something that strikes a chord.

After the program we decided to have tea and christmas dinner with our facilitator and driver at a local restaurant. Following we arrived to visit Pearl for me the 2nd visit since my last trip here. We initially tried to walk the grounds of the orphanage, but it was getting dark and she was nervous and avoiding eye contact. I think being outside was a little scary with all the outside noise and darkness. After coming back inside I watched as she started plucking the cars out of the toy bin and lining them up one by one. I started to stack sponge blocks next to her then began handing them to her. We would stack them up then she would knock them all down and grin from ear to ear. I started to slowly watch her come out of her shell and show me a little of her spicy personality. She loves sounds I thought I would try out our monkey game the one that helped break the ice with Rose. Once she had a firm grip on the phone she was not giving it up trying every combination she could find to make more noises. Someone finally suggested picking her up and flying about the room this was probably the highest point in our visit. I would say еще then she would say да or еще and I we would spin around or up and down. I was even able to sneak a hug and get a Пока! with a huge smile and wave. Tomorrow we have our court appointment and will be spending the night in Kiev to complete paperwork needed for Samatha's final trip. This is all going by so quickly I am looking forward to spending as much time visiting Miss Pearl as we can.

Merry Christmas

After a marathon day of travel I am back in Ukraine for our court date and opportunity to spend Christmas with Samantha. This past two weeks have been challenging in ways I can't even begin to explain. I will sure miss spending Christmas with Rose and the rest of our extended family. I have tried to keep the traditions alive last weekend Sasha and I setup the tree, I have been reading her a christmas story each night from the cannon of christmas provided by Glammy. Still there is something special about watching the excitement in your children as they unwrap and explore the magic of Christmas while it can still be heard. Sasha and I wrote a letter to santa last week her request was a humble one, it read simply "Santa I would like a Nest". I think I may have even caught a glimpse of him before we flew into the soup of fog covering the airport. With all of the challenges I really enjoyed spending time with Sasha she never ceases to surprise me as I spot glimmers of her personality begin to shine. While we are celebrating it in different places and in different ways I have come to truly appreciate the gift of family and friends. Picking up and spending time with Sasha, helping to feed the animals, a ride to the airport, donations and even just a shoulder to cry on. Your gifts are worth more than any gift card, gadget or present under a tree. Merry Christmas and thank you for helping us make this journey a reality.

P.S.
Santa left me a note about the nest on our tree last night one of the elves found out and wanted to help out. Because the request was something special you may not see it wrapped under a tree just yet but be patient a wonderful surprise is on the way.

Friday Dec 20

My stay in Ukraine has been a comfortable one.  My driver and translator have gone out of their way to make sure that I have what I need. I don't know if I said this before, but this region has welcomed me with open arms. 

When visiting Pearl's orphanage,  there is only one playroom and it is shared. You come in contact with other parents, biological or adoptive,  and other family members.  Mostly native. I cannot express how interesting it is! I have met one American couple, 2 sets of new native Ukrainian adoptive parents, and one grandparent and great-grandparent of the same bloodline. All have been so friendly, and always offer my prospective child confyeti(Candy).  Even know that the caregivers say they get fed 5 times a day all of us parents joke that may not always hold true by how our kids react to offering them food. You hear and see them eat in just seconds! We also take turns watching out for the caregivers so none of us get into trouble while one of oir kids gobble a cookie, or sucks down their juice. 

Yesterday was St. Nicholas day in Ukraine. I got to watch how Pearl's orphanage celebrates this traditional holiday. The kids dress in cute costumes and dance and celebrate the arrival of St. Nicholas. Although I did not understand most of the Russian dialog, the program included cameo appearances from Straganoma with 2 little helpers, A big bear and hunter, and sweet angels. At the end, St. Nicholas made his presence and the children were offered gifts from his sack. Locals as well as city officials come to watch this program, and make charitable contributions to the Orphanage. 

Scott will reunite with me next Tuesday as we await our upcoming court date. Sasha will stay behind with her grandparents. As sad as I am to not spend Christmas with my special girl, she will have fun and in good hands! I bought a christmas tree to make my apartment more festive. This is my first purchase of a real tree! It smells so lovely in here. I will be making authentic kompot a Eastern Europe drink that is made in different variations. Mine will be made with boiling fruit that have hints of smokiness. I usually put a cinnamon stick and cloves so it doesn't taste to camp-firy, but that is the taste Scott likes.

 

One week in

Let the slow process of bonding begin. There was a little glimpse of hope when I saw a crack in the ice appear. Before she came to the play room I heard a care giver speak to her in Russian, "Who's here?" She happily responded with, "Mama." Bahh!! :3 She is silly, clever, sassy, and most of all, a tease.  Certain caregivers have been teaching her colors in English. She likes this game where mama and her stick this colored button on a game board, say the color of the button in Russian, and follow up with the English name. It is so cute to hear, and absolutely melts my heart. I was able to get her to say colors throughout our playdate with the help of candy. King of all negotiations.  Progress is being made :)

Orphanage bound

Somehow our last update got erased. Mobile blogs are complicated and at certain times not so user friendly. Here we go. I am completely random in thought and use freestyle writing as an advantage.  Last week, we had a successful SDA appt and travelled to the location to where the orphanage is. After a full month of hurdles, we have met the one who was chosen for us. I will use the name Pearl until we gain custody of her.  Pearl is cute as ever, and so sweet. She has always wanted a papa and lit up the first time she locked eyes with him. Sasha didn't quite know how to interact with her.  Both girls like the idea of a sister, but when mixing two shy girls nothing happens. We will give it some time. Only having two visits with Pearl, Scott and Sasha had to return to the  States. They both had exceeded their one month limit of excused time off.
    
     I stayed behind to bond with Pearl. The first week is always the hardest.  I have been given info hearsay that genetically,  Ukrainian girls are always daddy's girls. I am not sure that always holds true at first, but in this case I might.  I have got her to smile, talk with the help of a treat, play, but so far has a hard time with affection. That is ok. You can't rush that. I have learned with Sasha that patience is key.

     I miss my family and friends back home but in good hands here. Scott has been a champion as a single dad. He has been my rock as well. I cannot think of a better husband to share this journey with.

Any News?

November 10th

December 1st

From the date that sam and I had arrived we have witnessed the latest events grow from a small gathering to over 100,000 people flooding the city. We have had a unique perspective having stayed across the street from city hall where the first protests began. To just steps away from St. Michaels Monastery just days before the influx of people began to arrive. Earlier this week we found ourselves amidst the masses when visiting a local park for Sasha to play. It has been a little surreal to see the same landscape we have only recently become familiar with as a backdrop for world news stories. Last week we moved from the apartment across from St. Michaels to a smaller one further away from the action, although still within earshot of the concussion grenades last night. We are safe and continuing to wait as our paperwork completes the process. The saying that every adoption is different is certainly ringing true for us. Our first trip I realize just how very fortunate we were to have been able to spend so much time with Sasha prior to coming home. While we all may not get that opportunity with this adoption I am hopeful we will get the opportunity soon.