aftermath

It is truly heartbreaking when reality hits sometimes. To follow up from the last blog for all of you who have been following, the hcg trigger did work remarkably, but I am afraid no little one was created out of this. Tomorrow, I will be getting blood work done for a result. I am not getting my hopes up because already I feel discouraged. As for future attempts we will go through this cycle maybe 1 or 2 more times...then invitro a year after for it is VERY expensive to continue such large treatments(invitro is now up to $10,000+)especially the way the economy is. Until then, I need to get myself together. I don't think it is a good idea for me to keep this in common discussion or be my main focus. I will let you know soon what the result is in my comments. Thank you for all your support.

Many of you who know us know that we have been trying to have a little one. After a year of trying, a very expensive month, and 2 ultrasounds later we were told the FSH injections are working. I will recieve a HCG injection possibly today or tomorrow(this stimulates ovulation), and this is my first. The trick here is that this causes multiple births and we are going to TRY to avoid this. We hope that we get twins! we would be fine with triplets! one would be great. Please say a prayer for us. We have already asked for a miracle, so far the light has shined are way, after a long walk in the dark tunnel.

A week of learning!

Whoever made the phrase,"When one door closes the another one opens" gets a gold star for optimism. The last 2 weeks have been a learning experience and so on. I encountered my first bad men's haircut and really it was a blessing in disguise because of the lesson that was learned from it. I am happy to work for the team I do. I am now apprenticing an amazing, and experienced stylist for men's haircuts. Today, I am confident. Also, I have to keep on telling myself that all people cannot be pleased. In other news, I will be starting my FSH injections on Sunday. If this does not help our situation we will try these injections every 3 months. It is very expensive to have this done, and with the economy the way it is, it is definately taking a risk. I got a chance to babysit a fun little baby boy today! He is 10mths. old and already walking and saying a few words. It is so precious when they fall asleep in your arms.

Trip to Vernal

We took a trip to Vernal over the weekend to see some good friends(Jack and Taya Harper) of us and meet their new baby Nick Jagger. On the drive there we got to experience the fall colors in their prime. I am a sucker for this change and was in awe for half of the drive. We haven't had a vacation in years, and this one was definately rejuvinating. Scott decided to bike in the canyons 24 miles in a 2 day period. He is burnt to a crisp. While he was doing that I caught up with the whole family! Did some hair. Made someone happy.

Time is important.

I don't know if all woman my age go through a, "Reality Check", but it is certainly hitting me! I am turning 32 next sunday and I have crossed a turning point in my life to finally be doing something for myself that is healthy. If you don't care I have a lot to reflect! I like to write, too! what I have came to learn at this point in my life:

1) you know who you love, trust, and hold meaningful friendships with.

2)People may not understand the true you, but you understand yourself.*NOTE: it has taken me 30 years to love myself, and I like who I am, and comfortable as a person.

3)You can realize what,"Level" you are on with friends, aquantances, family...etc. and a lot of you might understand what I am talking about, but for those who don't it means a level of acceptance, almost a unwritten coping skill.

4)It took me this long to start being addicted to fitness? say what? I have a busy friend that has taught me by one class that you need to dabble in the water! YOU CAN DO IT(even if you are outta shape!)

5) I have what I want, and very lucky. Insert husband here. My husband and I were trully meant to be. He has taught me things(and will continue)of what love is. He has taught me: Material things do not bring happiness, instead a lot of stuff is a pain to clean up i.e. simple is good(and it keeps money in the bank). The golden rule: we all know this but forget. Love thy neighbor as you love yourself. We make eachother shine.

This is great that I could be so fortunate to share this with you! thank you for letting me! :)

Doo doo do

I have hit blogger's block :) Most of my time lately has been taken by playing endless video games, walks in the park, exercise, and being a domestic diva when I can. Scott has taken an interest in running in the park. I am teetering on the idea to tryout for the derby girls. My 32nd birthday is just around the corner-I can say 30 has treated me the best. Yes we want children and hope if you read this you could say a courtesy prayer for us, or send child :) karma our way. Our yard is more gorgeous than ever. Scoot has really put a lot of time and effort(and a little help from me)to make it an eyecatcher. House of Ashley seems to keep me on my toes, and day by day I am getting one or two extra customers a week. Establishing clientele is not easy. Drop me a line! I would love to know what ya'll have been up to! How is your summer?

Acceptance

It is really hard to accept that I am my own worst critic. Being a PERFECTIONIST takes it's tole. I am coming to realize that it is okay to make mistakes(my current fixation:practice makes perfect in hairstyling..not to say that I am doing bad hair, but I am not doing advanced cuts..). How many times does one have to have reality hit you before you can accept what you need to and move on??? Yesterday, My buddy Amanda and I went to liberty park in the depths of hades to go skating(she skateboarding, me rollerderby)we went around twice and had a blast. An epiphany crossed my mind and I shouted out loud,"I want to be me when I grow up!!!" It has taken 30 years to come out of my shell and accept me for me. I am proud to say that I am letting go little by little of this whole,"Perfectionism thing".. and happily accepting me for my quirks.